A blog.....really? A blog with all the things going on in my life- I can't believe I am going to try to keep a blog. The main reason I feel the urge to start this is to document what I hope will be a successful pregnancy and healthy birth of a perfect little baby.
I don't think I have ever wanted anything more than to be a mother. I have always wanted my own baby and to experience a little miracle growing in my tummy. Of all my friends, I think I was always the one that longed for a family and to experience carrying and delivering a baby. My biggest fear, as well as my husband's biggest fear, was to not be able to have a child. I never wanted anything so badly- but my biggest fear quickly became a reality.
Shortly after we were married (actually 4 months) we started trying to conceive. A year later, with no luck, we decided to meet with a fertility doctor. After two procedures (HSG and laparoscopy), I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Endometriosis.
In the back of our minds, we always said we would be fine with adopting, but the closer we got to the end, the harder it was for us to give up. We didn't want to have any regrets. It was what we had always wanted, but we really have no control - it was all in the hands of God. Growing up I was taught that I could do anything that I set my mind to - if I worked hard for it and wanted it bad enough, it would happen. But this was one aspect of my life that I had no control over. All I could do was trust in God's plan.
We decided to move forward with fertility treatments in April 2009. At that time, I had no idea it would cause such mental and financial stress on us. The only comparison I have is a wild roller coaster - you are constantly up and down. It felt like the roller coaster that would never end.
